I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
