all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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