i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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