He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
