while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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