can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
