i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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