that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
