So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
