I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.