Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”