Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain