just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
