walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
