ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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