The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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