I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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