Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
