ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
