Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize