I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
