omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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