8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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