he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
