i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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