he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
