I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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