I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Still dying that you shit outside
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
