I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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