She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
