fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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