I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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