Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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