At least make sure they are 18
Why
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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