i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
