Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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