I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
