Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sarcasm needs its own font
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
