I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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