Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My feet surprised me
Randomize
