i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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