you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize