Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
