I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
