I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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