hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
