why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
