She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
