why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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