Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
