the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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