four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
