that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize