i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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