Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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