got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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